Alternian Romance Novel
by Karartegirl99
Summary: Some fantrolls go on a snark-filled journey of love and hate. For full title and summary, see first chapter. Contains chatlogs as well as normal prose. F/F, M/F.
1. Title

A Young Midblood Troll with Unrequited Blackrom Feelings for a Highblood Teams Up with Her Friend, who has Unrequited Redrom Feelings for the Same Highblood Despite Being Trapped in a Caliginous Relationship With Her, In Order to Implement a Complicated Scheme to Separate the Highblood From Her Moirall/Meddling Friend/Personal Auspitice and Pair Her With the Two Aforementioned Friends in their Respective Quadrants

aka An Alternian Romance Novel


	2. Prologue

copperBloodfruit [CB] began trolling birdClaws [BC]

CB: heyy i'mm nott suree iff youu forgott butt rememberr wee plannedd too meett att thee grubb juicee shopp?

BC: haHa you said "butt"

BC: serIousLy though, i diDn't forGet

CB: soo aree youu onn yourr wayy orr whatt? youu betterr showw upp soonn thiss placee iss gettingg prettyy hoppin''

BC: whoa hoNey don't start that parTy withOut me

BC: yeah i'm on my way it's just that traFfic is a nightMare

BC: and by traFfic i mean someOne left their fuCking luSus in the miDdle of the walkWay

CB: i'lll tryy nott too givee yourr seatt awayy..

BC: be there soon

copperBloodfruit [CB] ceased trolling birdClaws [BC].


	3. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE: DON'T WORRY THE DIALOGUE WON'T BE IN QUIRKS

The GrubJuice Shop was where all the cool adolescent mid- to high-blood trolls hung out. Perkad Elased wasn't exactly cool, but she met the other requirements, and that was enough. She sat at an outdoor table, her bag taking up the chair opposite her, and she watched as all the neighborhood kids began to congregate around her. It was only a few hours before sunrise and the social scene was turning up a notch.

"Hey, Perky!"

A blue-blood waved to her from across the outdoor seating plaza. As he approached, Perkad took her bag off the seat so he could sit down. "You smell like lusus blood," she laughed.

"Yeah, well." He grinned and wiped blots of liquid off his shirt. "I had to clear the road."

"No way! Did you really?"

"Yeah. It's a bit of a shame, but I think it couldn't walk."

"Nunkii!" she laughed, playfully punching him on the shoulder. "You can't just kill things so you can make an appointment on time!"

"Yeah." Nunkii sighed and looked around. All the tables were taken, and inside, the line for drinks took up the whole building. "I guess we aren't gonna get anything."

"We didn't come here for grub juice, silly! We came to socialize! How you been?"

"You know how I've been, Perky. We're in contact all the time."

"Still dating that high-blood bitch?" she asked. "That high-blitch?"

"Yeah."

"Things getting better?"

"No."

Perkad glanced at a couple of popular trolls that were sitting the next table over. "You don't think she's here, do you?" It would be hard to spot her in the crowd, considering everyone there had similar outfits.

It seemed Nunkii was better at finding things. "Oh, you jinxed it," he muttered. "I think I see her."

And there, sitting three tables away, was the most despicable high blood on the continent, surrounded by a posse of beautiful light blues. She had an air of disgusting perfection, but unlike all the other cool kids who hung out at the Juice Shop, hers was magnified threefold by the ribbons in her hair.

"Ew, she's putting on her make-up," Nunkii said. "I just… hate it when she puts on her makeup. She always uses rust lipstick to emphasize her color. It's just gross."

"Can I be honest with you, bro?" Perkad asked. "As a friend?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not looking to steal your kismesis, and I wouldn't know, because this is the first time I've seen her, but hot damn. She's so hateable I think she would drive me crazy with fury. She's so hateable that she's unhateable, if that's even possible. That's how hateable she is."

"You're just saying that."

"No, that's my honest opinion. You have the best hate-lover on the planet."

Nunkii smirked. "Should I introduce you to her?"

"That is a horrible idea. But yes. What's her name again?"

"Aldera Agenna."

She laughed. "Ooh, alliteration. I hate her even more."

Nunkii blushed dark blue.

At her table, Aldera finished off the drink she had been nursing. She and her friends stood up to go, and she whispered something to the troll standing next to her before making her way over to where Nunkii was sitting. "Hey, high-blood," she spat. "What're you doing at this joint? This place is for popular trolls only."

"If that's the case, then what are you doing here?" Nunkii retorted. Perkad made an "oooo" sound.

"You may be higher on the spectrum than me," Aldera said, "but I'm pretty sure your bedtime was an hour ago."

"Oooo!" went Perkad again. Nunkii snickered and shushed her.

Aldera glared at her. "And who's this?"

"I'm his friend, Perkad," said Perkad. "Nice to meet you, I've heard so much about you."

"I'm sure." Aldera checked her mobile device for the time. "Looks like the sun rises in an hour. I hope you two get home in time. It'd be a shame if a lusus blocked the path again."

"Did you sabotage me?" Nunkii asked.

"I didn't 'sabotage' you, I hindered you. By crippling a giant lusus and leaving it in your way. Don't worry, though. If you can't make it back to your hive, you can stay at my place. You should consider yourself lucky that I'd go to such trouble to get in your pants." Aldera turned back to look at her friends. "Come on, let's head out. The party's dead."

Once she had left, Perkad turned back to Nunkii. "You don't have to stay with her if you don't want to. If the road is blocked, you can sleep at my place."

Nunkii sighed. "Thanks."

"Hell, I'm here any time you need it. We can have a sleepover any time, even if the road isn't blocked."

"Thanks again," Nunkii said. He thought for a moment. "You know what? I think a sleepover is just what I need right now."


	4. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO - THE SLEEPOVER THAT WAS JUST WHAT HE NEEDED RIGHT THEN

"It's a shame we never got to drink any grub juice," Perkad said. Nunkii wasn't listening. He was off in the corner of the room, watching the morning sky slowly lighten. "I have some soft drinks, though, if you want some," she continued. "And get away from that window before you burn your face off."

Nunkii walked over to where Perkad was sitting in a pile of cushions. "Do you have an extra recuperacoon?" he asked.

"Probably. I don't know about you, though, but I'm not very tired."

"Me neither. After what happened back there…"

"Still angry?"

He sighed. "Not even."

"I'm gonna be honest with you," said Perkad. "If you weren't already in a relationship with her, I'd be all over her."

Nunkii sighed and said, "Do you want to know why my relationship with her is unhappy? I think - I think I'm flushed for her."

Perkad gagged. "You're _what?_ "

He buried his face in his hands. "I know, I know. I'm just horrible at communication and I know she wants me as her kismesis, so… whatever makes her happy…"

"Did you tell her?"

"If I told her, and she didn't feel the same way, she'd just hate me even more. Or worse, she would be indifferent towards me, and I wouldn't have a relationship with her at all. But it's so hard when she treats me like shit. She doesn't even treat me as a worthy adversary, just some underling to mess with and pail when she's bored."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she whispered. "And to think I was considering stealing her from you."

Nunkii sighed and face planted into the cushion pile. "If you want her, you can have her," he mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric.

Perkad placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him. "This is an unhealthy relationship you've got with her and we gotta get you out of it. Do you wanna talk to her about it? It'll make you feel a lot better."

"I really should," he muttered.

She sighed. "I think what you need right now is a good day's rest. Get your mind off of things." She helped him up. "Come on, the spare recuperacoon is upstairs."

Perkad led him to the guest respiteblock, a small section of the upper hive level. Nunkii wasted no time in crawling inside the cocoon, letting slime soak into his clothes and clot in his hair. "Sleep tight, Nunkii," Perkad whispered as she left the room.

The next evening, Perkad made flat pan-cooked bread for breakfast. Nunkii sat down to eat, still half asleep. "I'm so hungry, I could eat a lusus."

"You sliced through one yesterday," Perkad joked. "I'm sure there are still leftovers."

"Ugh, don't remind me about that. Some kid probably got culled because of me."

"You weren't the one who crippled it and left it lying there in the first place. Which reminds me, and I'm sorry to bring this up again, but you should really talk to Aldera today."

Nunkii smiled sadly. "Could you talk to her for me?"

She laughed and passed him more pancakes. "I would, but I'm pretty sure if I tried I would end up accidentally hate-flirting with her."

"She's not _that_ bad. Um, don't tell her I said that…"

"I won't."

"Seriously, though. If you messaged her and talked to her a bit, maybe that would make it easier when I confess my undying love to her. If you just paved the way for me. I don't know. I just really don't want to talk to her myself."

"I don't know, is that really what you want me to do?"

"I think so."

"I'll message her now, then," Perkad said, taking out her mobile communication device. "You just keep eating."


	5. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE - I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN'T STORYTELL USING CHAT LOGS BUT IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE THAN TO TRY TO SET UP SCENES

copperBloodfruit [CB] began trolling wonderousRabbit [WR]

CB: alderaa thiss iss youu rightt?

CB: whatt kindd off usernamee iss thatt…..

WR: _W_ h _o_ i _s_ t _h_ i _s_?

CB: thiss iss perkadd.. wee mett lastt nightt,, rememberr?

CB: i'mm nunkii'ss friendd..

WR: _O_ h _,_ t _h_ e _m_ i _d_ b _l_ o _o_ d _m_ o _i_ r _a_ l _l_.

CB: ii don'tt thinkk i'mm hiss moiralll reallyy,, butt that'ss nott thee pointt..

WR: _W_ h _a_ t _i_ s _t_ h _e_ p _o_ i _n_ t _t_ h _e_ n _?_

CB: hee feelss likee youu aree beingg tooo hardd onn himm..

CB: ii reallyy don'tt knoww howw to sayy thiss,, andd i probablyy shouldn'tt sayy itt att all…..

CB: butt hee feelss maybee youu twoo aren'tt madee forr the caliginouss quadrant.

WR: _P_ l _e_ a _s_ e _,_ i _t_ ' _s_ t _o_ o _e_ a _r_ l _y_ i _n_ t _h_ e _e_ v _e_ n _i_ n _g_ f _o_ r _a_ u _s_ p _i_ s _t_ i _c_ i _z_ i _n_ g _._ I _j_ u _s_ t _g_ o _t_ u _p_.

WR: _B_ y _t_ h _e_ w _a_ y _,_ d _i_ d _h_ e _g_ e _t_ h _o_ m _e_ s _a_ f _e_ l _y_?

CB: hee stayedd withh mee too avoidd anyy incidentt..

CB: ii hopee youu didn'tt actuallyy tryy too blockk hiss pathh.. thatt wouldd havee beenn aa dickk movee..

CB: ii wouldn'tt putt itt pastt youu,, thoughh.. youu seemm veryy hungryy forr attentionn..

WR: _Y_ e _a_ h _,_ s _u_ r _e_ , _w_ h _a_ t _e_ v _e_ r _._

WR: _T_ e _l_ l _h_ i _m_ t _o_ s _t_ o _p_ b _e_ i _n_ g _s_ u _c_ h _a_ c _o_ w _a_ r _d_ a _n_ d _s_ p _e_ a _k_ t _o_ m _e_ h _i_ m _s_ e _l_ f. _O_ r _e_ l _s_ e _,_ t _o_ k _e_ e _p_ h _i_ s _f_ r _i_ e _n_ d _s_ f _r_ o _m_ m _e_ d _d_ l _i_ n _g_.

WR: _G_ l _a_ d _t_ o _s_ e _e_ I _s_ c _a_ r _e_ d _h_ i _m_ , _t_ h _o_ u _g_ h _._ T _a_ ~ _t_ a _!_

wonderousRabbit [WR] ceased being trolled by copperBloodfruit [CB].


	6. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR - ANTICLIMACTIC CONFRONTATION

Nunkii finished reading the exchange over Perkad's shoulder. "I'm actually glad she didn't take that seriously," he said.

"You gotta talk to her," Perkad said again. "In person. I'll come with you if it would make you feel better."

"Fine. Let me finish eating first."

They left Perkad's hive around midnight. Some of the neighboring hives were starting to show signs of activity, but most trolls their age were sleeping in. Aldera's hive was in the upper-blood cluster, a decent walk away, and Perkad had her machete ready should they face any more roadblocks. "Do you think we should have told her we're coming?" She asked as they stood outside Aldera's front door.

"I don't think so." Nunkii rang the doorbell. The sound echoed through the cavernous hive.

After several minutes, an unfamiliar teal blood answered the door. She frowned at them. "What is it?"

"Is Aldera here?" Nunkii asked.

The troll hesitated for a moment before turning to yell over her shoulder. "Aldera! There's a highblood and his lackey at the door for you!"

There was an awkward wait while Aldera made her way to the door. She arrived slightly out of breath - it was a big hive. "Oh, hey Nunkii. Have you and Spicab met before?" She asked, nodding to the teal blood.

"No," said Nunkii.

"Spicab, this is Nunkii, my kismesis. Nunkii, this is Spicab."

"And the girl?" asked Spicab.

Aldera shrugged. "I don't know who the girl is. She's cool, I guess. Do you guys want to come inside or something? Or did you just come over to stand in the doorway and flirt?"

Perkad gave him a concerned look. "Do you wanna go?" she stage-whispered.

"I'll be fine," he whispered back. Out loud, he said, "Sure, we can go inside if you want."

He followed Aldera in and down a hallway. Perkad was about to go after him, but Spicab blocked her way. "No more auspisticizing, sweetheart," she smirked, instead leading her down a separate hallway and into a sitting room.

While she kept Perkad occupied with idle chat and iced beverages, Aldera and Nunkii entered what looked like a spare respiteblock. "I'd rather not be alone with you," Nunkii admitted as they sat down on a fancy-looking couch.

"Isn't that how it works?" Aldera smirked. "Two kismeses get alone, they bicker, they build up anger, and then they release their fury in an intense make-out session?"

"Nooo, that's not how it works," Nunkii said, blushing. "I didn't come here to fight."

"And why the _hell_ not?!" she snapped. "If you really _do_ want to break up with me, you're really not helping your case! Now, are you gonna stop wimping out on me and fight me, or do you want me to hate you even more?"

"I don't want to hate you!"

She grabbed him by his shirt collar. "Then help me get out some of this pent-up anger!"

"Aldera, I think I love you!"

That made her stop dead. She was still holding him by the neck, and she just sort of stared blankly into his face. "What."

"I keep trying to tell you…" he muttered.

Aldera let go of him and shoved him away. "You despicable bastard."

"You always just hate me even more..."

"You pitiful little worm!" she shrieked. "And not even the _good_ kind of pitiful! Get the fuck out of my house!"

Nunkii stumbled off the couch. She made a move to hit him, and he flinched and shot out of the room. He yelled as he ran out the front door and onto the lawn ring. Perkad, concerned, pushed past Spicab and ran out after him.

"Didn't I tell you she wouldn't feel the same way?" he asked.


	7. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE - A PLAN WORTHY OF TROLL SHAKESPEARE

"I don't think Aldera hates me," Perkad said. It wasn't even dinnertime yet, but they had already decided to have another sleepover. Morosely, they lounged for a second time in the cushion pile at Perkad's hive.

"You really hate her?" Nunkii asked.

"How can I not?" she replied. "You've seen the way she yells at you. If it were anyone else, you'd hate her, wouldn't you?"

"I like to think I wouldn't."

Perkad thought for a moment. "I think I've got a plan."

"A _good_ plan?"

"Nah."

"Perkad, what-"

"Look, I haven't worked out all the details yet, but I'm sure that this plan will make Aldera break up with you and hate me instead. If we play our cards right, she'll even develop red feelings for you by the time we're finished. Pale feelings at the least."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Now, let's get out of this pillow pile and eat some ice cream."


	8. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX - I'M STALLING FOR TIME BECAUSE I NEED TO THINK OF A PLAN NOW

ravenousWolf [RW] began trolling copperBloodfruit [CB].

RW: due to that hi _larious in_ cident, i'm a _fraid_ i was un _a_ ble to _fin_ ish our conver _sa_ tion

CB: whatt?

RW: this is spicab

RW:as i was _say_ ing

RW: wait, what _was_ i saying

CB: inn thee sittingg roomm?

RW: _ye_ ah

CB: youu weree talkingg aboutt jazzz musicc orr somethingg..

RW: yes, right

RW: i don't _feel_ like _tal_ king about jazz any _more_ though

RW: you weren't _rea_ lly _in_ terested in the _top_ ic

RW: i was more _cur_ ious about what _happ_ ened back there

CB: i'mm afraidd thatt iss aa personall matterr..

CB: didn'tt youu sayy thatt jazzz iss thee onlyy formm off musicc nott performedd underwaterr?

RW: i _did_ say that, _did_ n't i

RW: but you can't get me off _to_ pic so _eas_ ily

RW: did your _high_ blood friend tell you what _happ_ ened when he was with al _der_ a

CB: noo..

RW: as if _i_ _ev_ en care what _you two_ are up to

CB: alderaa won'tt telll youu?

RW: she is _an_ grier than _ev_ er and i just _won_ der what set her off

RW: i don't know _how_ that _wimp_ y kid could get her so damn _fur_ ious

CB: okayy ii gottaa askk - aree thee syllabless you'ree italicizingg spellingg outt aa secrett messagee?

ravenousWolf [RW] ceased trolling copperBloodfruit [CB].


	9. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN - THESE CHAPTER TITLES AREN'T NEARLY AS WITTY AS I THINK THEY ARE

It wasn't exactly foolproof, but Perkad's plan-in-progress was good enough for them. By the time they finished their ice cream it was already very late, but Perkad was still working out the details, so neither of them slept.

"What do we do before the exciting parts?" Perkad asked. "To get our plan in motion."

"Maybe you should message Aldera more," Nunkii suggested.

"But that doesn't seem like it's enough. There's no transition."

"Trust me, it will be enough."

"Should we threaten Spicab for good measure?" she mused. "Aldera would be pissed if we threatened her, right?"

He laughed. "Don't get yourself killed trying to get yourself a date."

Playful, she punched him on the shoulder. "Don't forget who else will have a date! Aldera and Nunkii, sitting in a tree-"

" _Stop!_ "

"P-A-I-L-I-N-G."

Nunkii blushed. "You like her too, silly."

"P-A-I-L-"

He hit her in the face with a cushion. She shrieked with laughter and hit him back.

Outside, the sky was lightening, and the world was slowly lulled by the sun. Exhaustion set in, and the two of them fell asleep right there in the cushion pile, too tired to care about nightmares.


	10. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT - MAN, THESE CHAPTERS ARE SHORT

copperBloodfruit [CB] began trolling ravenousWolf [RW].

CB: ii foundd outt whatt happenedd yesterdayy..

RW: _won_ derful news

CB: nunkiii saidd hee wass flushh forr alderaa..

CB: shee gott madd andd chasedd himm outt..

RW: whoa, what are the impli _cat_ ions of this

RW: and why are you _tell_ ing _me_

CB: becausee youu askedd..

copperBloodfruit [CB] ceased trolling ravenousWolf [RW].


	11. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE - THE PLOT THICKENS, MAYBE

The first thing they did was some scouting. Nunkii said that Aldera liked to dance, so they went to the local dance studio to get an idea of the situation. Aldera was inside, twirling in a swirl of deep blue ribbons. There were other trolls there, too, but she was doing a good job of upstaging them. "What's here that we can use?" Perkad wondered.

They looked around. Aldera's makeup kit lay off to the side, a collection of low yellows and rusts. "Complimentary colors," Perkad huffed.

"Maybe we could replace the reds with pinks and hope she won't notice," said Nunkii. "But I think that might get her in trouble."

"Yeah, you've got to think _bigger_." Perkad held out her arms for emphasis. "What about… what if we replace her lipgloss with grub sauce?"

"Or troll blood itself," Nunkii suggested.

"I think actual blood would just make her look badass. I don't know, I think just about anything sticky and unpleasant should work." They both thought for a moment. Then it hit her. "Glue."

"Really?" Nunkii said. "That's kind of unoriginal. And mean."

"What else? Cum? Earwax? Poison?" Perkad laughed. "Don't be so worried. Most gluesticks are too weak to do any real damage. We just find a gluestick, dye it the right color, and hope."

"Where are we gonna get a gluestick?"

"That lusus you killed," Perkad said, "what blood color was it?"

"Um, mud brown, I think."

"Would Aldera wear that color?"

"Probably."

"I've _got_ it!" Perkad said. "We'll make glue from the lusus blood! We add some chemicals, add some water, and ta-da! Bioadhesive!"

"Couldn't we just buy glue from the store?" Nunkii asked.

"This is more fun," she said. "Plus, if we bought some from the store, it would be in a gluestick container and will have 'glue' written all over it. This is perfect! I can pretend to give Aldera a new shade of lipstick, and it will glue her stupid mouth shut!"

Nunkii laughed. "I don't know why I'm putting my love life in your hands."

Perkad smiled. In the middle of the room, Aldera kept dancing, feet fumbling around the cobalt ribbons on her slippers.


	12. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN - THIS STORY IS FUN TO WRITE BUT PAINFUL TO READ

Perkad had a bit of an affinity for blood chemistry, and she was having a bit too much fun extracting albumin from the sample. The end result was a bowl full of sticky, chocolate colored mush, with a bit of troll spit in it for luck. She jammed it into an empty lipstick tube and tried to mold it to look less sticky.

"Something tells me she won't ever put this on," she said.

"At least it was fun to make," Nunkii said, watching her make a bloody mess.

"We should make lipstick more often. Think I'd look good in light yellow green?"

"It'd get you culled," he laughed, "but yeah." He sat down in the cushion pile - Perkad's hive always had a cushion pile nearby - and asked, "What's the next part of the plan?"

"This," Perkad said, launching herself into the cushion pile with him.

"Seriously, how are you going to give her the lipstick?"

Perkad shrugged and took out her mobile device.


	13. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN - ANOTHER PROBLEM SOLVED THROUGH A TROLLIAN CHAT SCENE

copperBloodfruit [CB] began trolling wonderousRabbit [WR].

CB: heyy alderaa.. i'mm reallyy sorryy aboutt whateverr happenedd thee otherr dayy..

WR: _?_? _?_?

WR: _O_ h _._

CB: thee eventt att yourr housee..

WR: _S_ o _I_ g _a_ t _h_ e _r_ e _d_.

WR: _I_ d _o_ n't _k_ n _o_ w _w_ h _y_ y _o_ u'r _e_ a _p_ o _l_ o _g_ i _z_ i _n_ g _._ I _t_ h _a_ d _n_ o _t_ h _i_ n _g_ t _o_ d _o_ w _i_ t _h_ y _o_ u _._

CB: justt wantedd too showw somee sympathyy ii guesss..

CB: nott inn aa flushedd wayy off coursee..

CB: youu justt seemedd reallyy upsett..

WR: _T_ h _a_ t _l_ i _t_ t _l_ e _w_ o _r_ m _o_ f _y_ o _u_ r _s_ , _N_ u _n_ k _i_ i _,_ w _a_ s _b_ e _i_ n _g_ s _t_ u _p_ i _d_.

WR: _W_ h _a_ t _h_ a _s_ h _e_ t _o_ l _d_ y _o_ u _?_

CB: nothingg.. we don'tt likee too talkk aboutt suchh thingss..

CB: anywayy,, ii figuree itt hadd somethingg too doo withh my auspiticizingg andd ii wantedd too makee upp forr itt..

CB: ii heardd youu likedd makeupp soo ii madee youu somee lipstickk..

WR: _W_ h _a_ t _c_ o _l_ o _r_?

CB: cholatee brownn.. it'ss kindaa aa grosss colorr,, butt ii figuree itt wouldd lookk goodd withh bluee outfitss.. brownn andd bluee complimentt welll,, ii thinkk,, especiallyy withh polkaa dotss involvedd..

WR: _P_ o _l_ k _a_ d _o_ t _s_? _R_ e _a_ l _l_ y _?_

CB: whateverr….

WR: _S_ e _n_ d _i_ t _o_ v _e_ r _._ J _u_ s _t_ d _o_ n't _s_ e _n_ d _N_ u _n_ k _i_ i _,_ w _e_ ' _r_ e _g_ o _i_ n _g_ t _h_ r _o_ u _g_ h _a_ r _o_ u _g_ h _p_ a _t_ c _h_.

CB: iss itt okayy iff ii sendd hiss lususs overr withh itt?

WR: _T_ h _a_ t _t_ h _i_ n _g_? _F_ i _n_ e _,_ b _u_ t _h_ a _v_ e _i_ t _l_ e _a_ v _e_ t _h_ e _p_ a _c_ k _a_ g _e_ o _n_ t _h_ e _l_ a _w_ n _r_ i _n_ g _._

CB: youu don'tt havee too bee alll snarkyy aboutt itt..

CB: it'lll bee theree inn fivee..

copperBloodfruit [CB] ceased trolling wonderousRabbit [WR].


	14. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE - I FEEL LIKE MAYBE THE CHAPTER TITLES ARE DRAWING ATTENTION AWAY FROM MY BEAUTIFUL PROSE

She tied the lipstick tube to the leg of Nunkii's lusus. He was less than happy about this, but it was easier than going over in person and risking confrontation. "Besides," Perkad said, as she struggled to hold the lusus still, "your lusus can fly, and mine's way too slow."

"It won't be able to fly for long the way you're holding it."

She let go. The lipstick was fully secure now, and the lusus preened itself and flew away. "It's only a matter of time," Perkad cackled, in the most mock-evil voice she could muster.

"Aldera's a lucky woman."

"You bet your ass she is."

"Hey, by the way," Nunkii said. "How is this helping _my_ relationship with her?"

She shrugged and wiped blood glue off of her fingers. "You know the plan. I mess things up, Aldera gets upset, then you swoop in to comfort her."

"She's not gonna like that."

"That's the idea."


	15. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN - PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

Aldera was lounging in one of the sitting rooms on the ground floor. Jazz music blared from a grooved music player, and Spicab was sitting on the floor sorting through piles of records. "What a lovely night for introspection," she said to herself. Aldera yawned daintily.

All of a sudden there was a thump on one of the window pains. "Probably that idiot lusus," Aldera said, idly curling a hair ribbon around her finger.

There was another loud thump, and Spicab sat up a bit. One of the moons was full, and by the light she could make out a lump in the grass. "Delivery for Aldera Agenna," she joked.

"Well, go get it."

Spicab stepped around the records on the floor and headed outside. The lusus was several feet away from the hive, flopping around and leaving marks in the dirt. She grabbed it by its leg and carried it inside as if it were already dead. "This is the lusus you wanted, right?"

"Yeah," said Aldera, rising to meet her. "Is there anything tied to its legs?"

Spicab held the animal still while Aldera pried the lipstick tube off of its foot. Brown gunk seeped out a crack in the container. "How appetizing."

"It looks like someone put lip gloss in a lipstick tube. And then left the whole thing out in the sun."

"And glued the whole thing shut," Aldera muttered, trying to force it open.

"Are you gonna wear it?"

"Now?"

"Sure."

"I've already got lipstick on," she said. "And it'd be a waste to apply since there's no one here to see me. I'm thinking I'll wear it the next time I see Perkad."

Spicab shrugged. "Fair enough."

"Hold on, she's messaging me again."


	16. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN - THE STANDARDS I HOLD MYSELF TO ARE SLOWLY GOING DOWNHILL

copperBloodfruit [CB] began trolling wonderousRabbit [WR].

CB: didd youu gett thee lipstickk yett?

CB: makee suree too sendd thee lususs backk whenn you'ree donee..

WR: _Y_ e _a_ h _,_ I _g_ o _t_ i _t_.

CB: whatt doo youu thinkk?

WR: _T_ o _o_ b _e_ h _o_ n _e_ s _t_ , _I_ h _a_ v _e_ n't _t_ r _i_ e _d_ i _t_ o _n_ y _e_ t _._ I _d_ o _n_ ' _t_ t _h_ i _n_ k _I_ ' _l_ l _w_ e _a_ r _i_ t _t_ o _d_ a _y_.

WR: _I_ t _d_ o _e_ s _n_ ' _t_ m _a_ t _c_ h _m_ y _o_ u _t_ f _i_ t _._

CB: telll mee whenn youu doo wearr itt! youu cann sendd mee aa picc.. ii wantt too seee howw youu lookk..

WR: _I_ w _i_ l _l_.

CB: havee aa nicee nightt,, alderaa!

WR: _E_ t _t_ u _,_ l _o_ w _b_ l _o_ o _d_.

wonderousRabbit [WR] ceased being trolled by copperBloodfruit [CB].


	17. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - NEVER WRITE FICTION WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPY OR ALL YOUR CHARACTERS WILL BE SLEEPY AND YOU'LL END UP WRITING A NOVEL ABOUT A QUEST FOR A COMFORTABLE SLEEPING SURFACE

Perkad was out of ideas.

In her mind there had been a vague scenario that ended with Aldera tearily admitting her love for Nunkii. Then she would jump in and bear-hug her, and Aldera would growl, and the romantic ending music would play them off. Such was not the case, and she and Nunkii sat on the front porch eating stale pancakes and stargazing.

"That star formation looks like a troll," Nunkii said, halfheartedly pointing out the stars that made up the horns.

"That star formation looks like my failed lovelife," Perkad said, also pointing.

"Don't beat yourself up about it," he said. "You'll figure something out."

They were both quiet for a moment. Then Perkad spoke again. "Spicab's in our way."

"I guess," Nunkii agreed.

"If either of us try to flirt with Aldera, Spicab will be right there auspiticizing, right?"

"Mostly in your case."

"A fair point. Still…" She paused, going over scenarios in her mind. "What if one of us flirted with her to throw her off?"

"With _Spicab?_ "

"Think about it," she said. "If I pretend to be flushed for her and get her to pity me, she'll be more good-natured about me trying to get Aldera to hate me. And if anything goes wrong, worst case scenario I have a new matesprit. Maybe Aldera will even grow to hate me for that."

This was certainly a better plan than repeatedly pranking Aldera. "Fine," said Nunkii. "Just don't be too obnoxious in your flirting."

Perkad clapped her hands together. "Perfect! It's settled, then. This is going to be _so_ fun."


	18. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: I SHOULD REALLY USE CAPSLOCK TO WRITE THESE TITLES BECAUSE MY PINKY HURTS FROM HOLDING THE SHIFT KEY

copperBloodfruit [CB] began trolling ravenousWolf [RW].

CB: anyy newss?

RW: what

CB: didd youu findd outt anythingg aboutt what'ss goingg onn withh alderaa andd nunkiii?

RW: as if _any_ thing changed since the _last_ time you messaged me

RW: the _lusus_ flew a _way,_ just so you know

RW: it _prob_ ably broke its _wing_ trying to _fly ov_ er here

CB: aww! poorr thingg!

CB: ii hopee alderaa likedd thee lipstickk thoughh..

CB: i'mm sorryy ii didn'tt sendd youu anythingg.. ii wouldd havee sentt youu somee groovedd musicc discss,, butt ii didn'tt knoww iff youu wouldd ownn themm alreadyy..

RW: what _mu_ sic _discs_

CB: welll,, ii havee somee extraa bigg bandd recordss lyingg aroundd.. ii don'tt knoww iff youu likee bigg bandd musicc butt ii havee aa wholee bunchh iff youu wantt too borroww somee..

RW: _!_

RW: _please elaborate_

CB: umm ii havee aa bunchh off trolll andreww sisterss discss butt theyy aren'tt reallyy bigg bandd

CB: butt ii doo havee trolll louiss armstrongg off coursee

CB: andd legislaceratorss jazzz orchestraa

RW: _you_ have an ljo _re_ cord _?_

RW: you're pretty _hip_ for a _mid_ blood

CB: mann,, ii lovee thee orchestraa! ii don'tt knoww squatt aboutt legislaceratorss butt thee soundd justt makess mee wannaa condemnn somethingg,, youu knoww?

CB: ii couldd onlyy findd onee albumm,, thoughh.. they'ree inn suchh highh demandd thatt it'ss hardd forr peoplee likee mee too gett themm..

RW: what _al_ bum do you _have_

CB: ""digg itt likee ann unmarkedd gravee""

RW: i've _ne_ ver heard of _that_ one

RW: is it new

CB: it'ss onlyy aa couplee yearss oldd

CB: it'ss thee onee thatt hass thee songg thatt goess ""redd rumm cocktaill baa bapp bopp""

RW: oh _yeah_

RW: i haven't _got_ ten _a_ round to _buy_ ing that one yet

RW: you _got_ ta come _ov_ er some time so we can share _al_ bums

RW: i can't be _lieve_ you _on_ ly have _one_

CB: meett youu tomorrow maybee?

RW: _hell_ yes

RW: aldera's out in the _eve_ ning for _dance_ class so you can come _ov_ er _then_

CB: it'ss aa datee, thenn!

RW: wait _what_

CB: figuree off speechh..

copperBloodfruit [CB] ceased trolling ravenousWolf [RW].


	19. Chapter 17

p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"strong id="docs-internal-guid-83cb281d-6f75-8b03-ae67-fa58f225292a" style="font-weight: normal;" /strong/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" Perkad decided to take a page out of Aldera's book and wear a color other than her own. Nunkii helped her dye her skirt lime green, but she wore her own color lipstick to be safe and her shirt sleeves were still a healthy shade of olive. When she twirled around in the mirror, her hair fluttered like petals. "How do I look?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Overdressed," said Nunkii./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Don't be such a killjoy," she said, straightening her skirt. "Oh, boy, I feel like a wriggler on Twelfth Perigee! I'm going on a date! You don't think she'll kiss me, do you?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" Nunkii smiled. "Maybe."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" When it was time to leave, Perkad set out alone, bringing her machete again just in case. She passed the dance studio on the way there, with light music seeping through the walls, and through the window she thought she could see a twirl of ribbons./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" The sky had gotten darker by the time she reached the blue blood neighborhood. Perkad sheathed her machete and climbed the steps to Aldera's hive. She rang the doorbell, and Spicab opened the door almost immediately. "Did you bring the record?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Yep."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "This way."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" Spicab lead her through the tangle of hallways to a yellow-painted sitting room. "Go on, have a seat," she said, sitting on the floor by the grooved music disc player. Perkad stayed standing because there were record sleeves on all of the chairs./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "So, do you want to hear one of my records?" Spicab asked, as if it were up for debate. "I have all of the popular ones and several obscure ones. Name an album and I'll play it."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Um," Perkad said, thinking. "'Trial by Fire.'"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "That one? Fine." Spicab slid a record out of a nearby sleeve and put it onto the music player. It started to creak out a beat. "Man, I haven't heard this one in ages. It's kind of old school. Let me go make some tea."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" She left for the kitchen. On the disc, a cello solo started, and Perkad tried to figure out if Spicab was humming along from the other room./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" When she returned, she brought a platter full of iced cakes and crackers. "This song is one of my favorites," she said as she moved some records aside in order to set down the tray. "It kinda makes you feel like the entire world is dancing with you."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Yeah," Perkad said. "Not much room to dance in here, though."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "What kind of tea do you want?" Spicab asked./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "I don't usually drink leaf fluid."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Sleepy time tea it is, then."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" The smell of the food mixed with the music, and Perkad softly tapped her foot in lieu of dancing. The song began to repeat itself. Both of them were quiet./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "You have such a lovely hive," Perkad said once the song had ended. She made room on the couch and sat down./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Not /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"my/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" hive," Spicab corrected. "Aldera's."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Oh! I'm sorry. She… has a lovely hive, though..."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Yeah."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Might I ask," said Perkad, "um, why you always seem to hang out at here? At Aldera's?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" On the music disc, a woman began to sing, but her words weren't really worth listening to. Spicab turned down the volume. "My lusus is… a bitch. We don't have the best relationship."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "How so?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "She always eats my food," she said. "And, she always digs through my stuff. And whenever I have friends over, she jumps them and scratches their face off."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "What?!"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Not/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" literally,/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"" she added./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Oh, ok." Perkad shuffled her feet. "Man, that sounds really harsh. It's good that you don't hang out there a lot, I guess."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Of course. Mind if I turn the music back up?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Go ahead."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" It was one of those cheesy love songs, and Perkad wondered if she had heard it in a movie soundtrack. Spicab poured herself her third cup of tea./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "So." She gestured to Perkad's olive green lips. "So, did you make that lipstick yourself?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "What, the one I'm wearing?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Yes," Spicab sighed, "the one you're wearing."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Oh, no, I didn't. I don't usually wear lipstick, so I don't make it much." She was blushing./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "How do you even /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"make /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"lipstick?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "You take animal blood, and you boil it," she said, "and then you add in some fat for texture."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" Spicab made a face and set down her cup. "Glad I don't wear makeup."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" The song on the record reached a crescendo and died down. The next song started just as a cuckoo clock rang the time. "When's Aldera coming home?" Perkad asked./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Soon."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "I better be going," she said, standing. "I'll leave my record here and you can listen to it on your own, okay? We should do this again sometime."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Maybe tomorrow."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Okay, cool! See you tomorrow, then." Perkad waved goodbye and accidentally walked into a wall on her way out of the room./span/p 


	20. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - PITY PARTY

"How did the date go?" Nunkii asked.

Perkad set her machete down and took off her coat. "Have you been here lying on my couch this whole time?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "Well, sometimes I got up for snacks. So, give me details! What happened? How's the plan going?"

She smiled and pulled up a chair, since Nunkii took up all the space on the couch. "It went pretty good. We didn't get to listen to much music, though."

"What's this about music?"

"We're bonding over music discs! Pay attention, Nunkii!" she joked, flicking him on the forehead.

"What did you guys do, then?"

"We talked and stuff. She made scalding leaf fluid or whatever it's called."

"Do you think she likes you?"

Perkad paused. "I have no idea," she said, biting her lip. They sat in silence for a moment, and then she said, "Do you know her lusus is abusive?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, it attacks her friends and treats her like shit."

"I had no idea!"

"Horrible, isn't it? That's why she always hangs out at Aldera's."

"Wait a minute," said Nunkii. "Why are you telling me this?"

Perkad shrugged. "I dunno."

He thought for a moment. "So you don't know if she likes you, but do you like her?"

"Of course!"

"Romantically?"

She didn't answer.

"I seem to have found a flaw in your plan," Nunkii said, smirking.

"It's not a _flaw,_ " Perkad protested. "I said I might come out of this with a new matesprit, didn't I?"

"What? Wait, you _do_ have a crush on her? Perkad and Spicab, sitting in a tree…"

She laughed. "Shut up."

"I'm gonna get revenge for all the time you made fun of me for liking Aldedra," Nunkii said. He immediately launched into a falsetto impression of Perkad. "'How could you have red feelings for _her,_ she's so mean, and evil, and hot. Bla bla bla nag nag nag.'"

"Spicab is different," Perkad said. "She's not hot, she's _cute._ Whereas Aldera has a very caliginous appearance."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Fine," she laughed, "but I'm still gonna hook up with both of them. This plan is gonna work out fine. I just got a little sidetracked…"

"A little sidetracked."

"Yeah."

"Just a little."

"Yes, a little sidetracked."

"You fell in love. Just a little, eeny-meeny distraction. Not going to complicate things whatsoever."

"Are you jealous, Nunkii?"

"Yes."


	21. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN: I'M STARTING TO FORGET HOW TO SPELL THE CHARACTERS' NAMES

Spicab was resting her head on the side of the music player as it scratched off a song on the record. It was the disc Perkad had given her, and though this was her first time listening to it she was still trying to sing along with the chorus. "Extenuating circumstances, extenuating…"

"I don't know what your songs are even talking about," said Aldera, practicing ballet in the corner. "All that legal shit. What does 'icstenuating' even mean?"

"It doesn't _mean_ anything," Spicab said. "Music doesn't have to mean anything. It's just a nonsense word that sounds interesting."

"Well, give me something sensible to dance to."

"I _just_ got this record today. I want to listen to it. It's _my_ music."

Aldera straightened and headed out of the room. "I'm gonna go dance somewhere else."

"Okay."

The song ended, and Spicab lay her head back down as the next song started up. Her eyes fell on the record cover, an abstract depiction of a teal blood orgy. She wondered whose idea it was.

A little after midnight, she made herself more tea. By then the record was drawing to a close, and as the last note sounded and the lead singer thanked her for listening, she felt the tea cup slip slightly in her hands. Then she was alone with her thoughts, much too lazy to find another record to put on.

"Hey, Spicab," Aldera called from the next room. "Do you want to go out for lunch?"

"Maybe in a little bit."

"I just gotta get dressed, and then we can go to the juice shack or something."

"Sure." Spicab set her tea down and stretched. Aldera was already dressed, of course, but it would be a while before she was dressed up enough to be seen in public. Spicab rearranged the records on the floor, and when there was a large enough space, she lay down and slept.


	22. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY - SOMETHING

wonderousRabbit [WR] began trolling birdClaws [BC].

WR: _N_ u _n_ k _i_ , _I_ k _n_ e _w_ y _o_ u _w_ e _r_ e _i_ n _c_ o _m_ p _e_ t _e_ n _t_ , _b_ u _t_ I _s_ h _o_ u _l_ d _h_ a _v_ e _k_ n _o_ w _n_ t _h_ a _t_ t _h_ e _r_ i _f_ f _r_ a _f_ f _y_ o _u_ _a_ s _s_ o _c_ i _a_ t _e_ w _i_ t _h_ a _r_ e _e_ q _u_ a _l_ l _y_ s _o_.

WR: _B_ i _r_ d _s_ o _f_ a _f_ e _a_ t _h_ e _r_ f _l_ o _c_ k _t_ o _g_ e _t_ h _e_ r _,_ I _g_ u _e_ s _s_. _H_ a _h_ a _._

BC: who are you reFerRing to?

WR: _Y_ o _u_ r _p_ a _l_ i _s_ h _f_ r _i_ e _n_ d _P_ e _r_ k _a_ d _s_ e _n_ t _m_ e _a_ l _u_ m _p_ y _b_ o _t_ t _l_ e _o_ f _l_ i _p_ s _t_ i _c_ k _._ I _w_ o _r_ e _i_ t _t_ o _d_ i _n_ n _e_ r _a_ n _d_ i _t_ w _a_ s _a_ p _a_ i _n_ i _n_ t _h_ e _a_ s _s_. _I_ t _m_ a _d_ e _e_ a _t_ i _n_ g _h_ a _r_ d _a_ n _d_ i _t_ l _o_ o _k_ e _d_ l _i_ k _e_ s _h_ i _t_.

BC: oh no

BC: i thought i told her to neVer do this aGain

BC: i'm so sorRy

BC: she likes to make lipStick out of homeMade glue as a prank, and it's neVer funNy, of course

WR: _I_ t _w_ a _s_ n't _a_ v _e_ r _y_ w _e_ l _l_ d _o_ n _e_ p _r_ a _n_ k _._

BC: i know, i know, i'm so sorRy

BC: i hope it didN't ruIn your dinNer

WR: _N_ o _t_ o _n_ l _y_ t _h_ a _t_ , _i_ t _r_ u _i_ n _e_ d _m_ y _p_ u _b_ l _i_ c _i_ m _a_ g _e_ a _s_ w _e_ l _l_. _D_ o _y_ o _u_ k _n_ o _w_ h _o_ w _s_ i _l_ l _y_ a _n_ d _v_ i _l_ e _o_ n _e_ l _o_ o _k_ s _t_ r _y_ i _n_ g _t_ o _e_ a _t_ l _u_ n _c_ h _w_ i _t_ h _m_ u _d_ b _r_ o _w_ n _g_ o _o_ p _s_ t _i_ c _k_ i _n_ g _t_ o _o_ n _e_ ' _s_ l _i_ p _s_?

BC: oh no, realLy?

WR: _I_ t _h_ i _n_ k _t_ h _e_ c _o_ m _p_ a _n_ y _y_ o _u_ k _e_ e _p_ c _o_ m _p_ l _i_ m _e_ n _t_ s _y_ o _u_ q _u_ i _t_ e _n_ i _c_ e _l_ y _._

WR: _H_ o _l_ d _o_ n _,_ I _t_ h _i_ n _k_ s _h_ e's _c_ o _n_ t _a_ c _t_ i _n_ g _m_ e _._


	23. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE - ANOTHER THING

copperBloodfruit (CB) began trolling wonderousRabbit (WR).

CB: howw d'youu likee thee musicc diskk?

CB: ohh,, sorryy. ii meantt too messagee spicabb..

WR: _H_ o _l_ d _o_ n _j_ u _s_ t _a_ m _o_ m _e_ n _t_ , _m_ i _d_ b _l_ o _o_ d _._

WR: _D_ i _d_ y _o_ u _s_ a _b_ o _t_ a _g_ e _t_ h _e_ l _i_ p _s_ t _i_ c _k_ y _o_ u _g_ a _v_ e _m_ e _?_

CB: ii didn'tt ''sabotage'' youu,, ii hinderedd youu..

CB: byy gluingg yourr mouthh shutt withh lususs gutss..

CB: soundd familiarr?

WR: _N_ o _._

CB: youu saidd aa similarr thingg whenn wee confrontedd youu aboutt thee lususs incidentt..

WR: _I_ s _N_ u _n_ k _i_ i _i_ n _o_ n _t_ h _i_ s _?_

CB: noo,, he'ss too worriedd you'lll leavee himm iff hee soo muchh ass talkss too youu..

CB: he'ss reallyy hungg upp overr youu,, andd ii can'tt see whyy..

WR: _S_ o _i_ s _t_ h _i_ s _y_ o _u_ r _r_ e _v_ e _n_ g _e_?

CB: onlyy ass muchh ass itt iss myy revengee forr youu beingg aa horriblee personn..

CB: ii supportt nunkii andd hiss inexplicablee pityy forr youu,, butt iff hee won'tt hatee youu,, someonee shouldd..

WR: _A_ r _e_ y _o_ u _c_ o _m_ i _n_ g _o_ n _t_ o _m_ e _?_

CB: didd thee signlesss sufferr? yess,, i'mm comingg onn too youu..

CB: i'mm suree i'mm nott yourr typee,, thoughh.. ass ii understandd itt, youu preferr too hatee sadd,, lovesickk highbloodss..

WR: _Y_ o _u_ ' _r_ e _r_ e _a_ l _l_ y _d_ i _s_ s _i_ n _g_ h _i_ m _m_ o _r_ e _t_ h _a_ n _m_ e _a_ t _t_ h _i_ s _p_ o _i_ n _t_.

CB: amm ii,, thoughh?

CB: enjoyy yourr lipstickk!

copperBloodfruit [CB] ceased trolling wonderousRabbit [WR].


	24. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO - FAILED STEP ONE

Tears of laughter were still running down Perkad's cheeks. She had read Nunkii and Aldera's exchange over his shoulder and had decided to join in the fun. Now, Aldera had gone back to messaging Nunkii - looking for comfort, presumably, or else bombarding him with verbal abuse - but Perkad didn't care. The plan was moving too fast and she was having a lot of fun with it.

"I can't believe the lipstick worked," she said, grinning. "It didn't glue her big fat mouth shut, of course, but it pissed her off, and that's good enough."

"You seemed to have blown your cover, though," Nunkii said, speed-typing responses on his phone.

"What'd she say?"

"'Why don't you and your desperate friend go curl up in a bucket somewhere so that I don't have to deal with this vacillating stupidity.'"

"Rude."

Nunkii laughed.

Perkad looked around. The mixing bowl full of lusus blood was still sitting on the kitchen table, and the lime skirt she had worn to see Spicab was discarded nearby. "Nunkii, do you think Spicab is pitiful?"

"Huh?" Nunkii looked up from his conversation. "Did you say 'beautiful' or 'pitiful?'"

"Both."

"I think she lives with Aldera," he said, "and that she's got good social standing, even if she's lacking real friends. And I think she looks a lot like everyone else in Aldera's circle - mainstream pretty. If unremarkable."

"I never thought about that," Perkad said, but it was unclear which statement she was referring to. She still had the Jazz Orchestra album stuck in her head.

It took a lot of mental effort for Nunkii to try to calm Aldera down, so he didn't speak for a while. Perkad absentmindedly chewed on a loaf of sugar bread. A neighborhood down, she knew, the blue bloods were listening to the record she had given them.


	25. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE - PUNS ARE HARD

ravenousWolf [RW] began trolling copperBloodfruit [CB].

RW: are you _com_ ing to aldera's _dance_ recital

CB: ii didn'tt knoww shee wass a dancerr!

CB: whatt sortt off dancee? iff it'ss swingg orr folkk, countt mee inn..

RW: …

RW: _folk_ dance?

CB: ii meantt folkk musicc.. withh guitarss..

RW: okay, _well_

RW: i was _think_ ing we could go to _get_ her

RW: instead of listening to _rec_ ords again

RW: it's _clas_ sical music, if that answers your question

CB: soundss funn!

CB: wheree iss itt?

RW: at the _dance_ studio tomorrow _night_

RW: um

RW: don't bring _nun_ kii, o _kay_?

CB: okayy..

RW: it won't _end_ well if you do

CB: yeahh..

RW: also, i've been _mean_ ing to _ask_ you

RW: did you mean what you said to aldera

RW: about hating her

CB: woww,, youu typedd twoo wholee sentencess withoutt yourr quirkk..

RW: i'm serious

CB: sorryy..

CB: ii guesss ii didd meann itt..

CB: iss thatt okayy?

RW: i _guess_

CB: cooll!

RW: a _lot_ of people hate her, i've just never been _friends_ with one of them

RW: you don't hate _me,_ right?

CB: whyy wouldd youu thinkk thatt? we'ree tightt, broo..

RW: please don't call me "broo"

CB: sorryy..

CB: :))

CB: seee youu tomorroww nightt,, thenn?

RW: yep

CB: att thee dancee studioo?

RW: : _)_

RW: _look,_ i can use _smi_ leys too!

RW: which looks _bet_ ter, : _)_ or _:_ )

CB: goodnightt, spicabb.. :))

RW: : _)_

CB: :))

RW: : _)_

CB: seee yaa!

copperBloodfruit [CB] ceased being trolled by ravenousWolf [RW].


	26. Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR - CLIMAX..?

Fate had dropped this opportunity into her hands, and to ignore it would be foolish. She only had a night to plan, though, and Nunkii wanted none of it.

"You don't hateflirt with someone while you're on a red date with their friend!" he had said. "This is gonna blow up in your face! And don't say that will only make her hate you more," he'd added, because Perkad looked about to protest. "Wasn't this plan supposed to help me, too?"

"You're doing fine," she had replied. "Just don't get involved."

Now she was alone in her house for the first time in several nights, thinking about rainbow colored ribbons in a swirl of motion. How she would love to make Aldera trip over those gawdy ribbons, but she might get hurt, or worse, she might cry, and Perkad just couldn't hate someone who was crying. She needed a better way.

The idea grew on her like a mold. Yes, she could very well find a way, given that Spicab wouldn't be an obstacle. She plotted how to bring her plan to fruition as the day slowly dawned outside.

On the night of the recital, she met Spicab at the studio. Spicab had done her hair in a movie-star bob, and she was wearing pearly blue lipstick that made her skin, and her blood, look darker. "It may be made of animal guts," she said, "but I still think that I look amazing."

"You do," Perkad said, admiring her dress.

They went inside, where a bunch of folding chairs had been arranged around a makeshift stage. Someone had gone through the trouble of stringing pastel ribbons from the ceiling, and the sides of the rows of chairs were decorated with pale yellow bows. Perkad wondered if she should have sabotaged the decorations instead.

Spicab chose a seat in the second to front row. The room slowly began to fill up with people. "I need to go to the load gaper," Perkad said, and she disappeared under the cover of the crowd.

Spicab sat a while, fiddling her thumbs and checking to make sure her dress wouldn't wrinkle. By the time Perkad returned, the house lights were starting to dim. "Did I miss anything?" she asked, sliding back into her seat. Spicab shushed her.

A voice spoke from somewhere backstage, echoing through the speaker system. "Ladies and gentlemen, highbloods and low, please welcome Aldera Agenna!"

There was polite applause as the curtain opened. Aldera was already on stage, frozen in place. The music started up and the spotlight brightened, and amidst strands of ribbons almost as delicate as her movements, she danced. Perkad's eyes followed her across the stage and back.

It was almost as if the music was conforming to her dancing, and not the other way around. When Aldera moved her arm, stringed instruments would sing obediently. When she twirled, the music would spin. And all the while she formed a beautiful scene of a beautiful woman dancing to beautiful music.

"Holy shit," said Perkad.

The music was reaching its climax when, suddenly, it stopped. Aldera paused, confused. She tried to regain her composure, acting like this was all normal, but it was obvious that something had gone wrong. The silence was deafening. That was when the lights started flickering, the spotlight fixtures dripping sparks and oily black fluid until they stopped working altogether, plunging the studio into darkness.

Murmurs rose from the crowd until everyone was talking loudly amongst themselves. Perkad couldn't see Aldera, but her embarrassment was tangible even from across the room. There was a series of awkward thuds as she quickly made her way offstage.

"Oh, no," Spicab whispered.

A flashlight buzzed on, and Aldera's dance instructor came onstage. "Everyone calm down," he said, holding the light under his chin like a horror storyteller. "It's just a little power outage. We can relocate the performance outside."

"But it'll be light in only a few hours!" someone shouted.

"We're working on getting the electric current back on, but in the meantime - "

No one was listening. Several trolls were getting up to leave, especially the ones sitting in the back or on the sides who thought they could get away with it. "So, what do we do now?" Perkad asked.

"Do you have your cell on you?"

"My mobile communication device? Sure." She rummaged through her purse for it and handed it to Spicab. Spicab promptly lit the screen up. It didn't help much.

"Is the rest of the neighborhood out?" Spicab wondered. "Is there a window or something we can look through to check?"

"A lusus probably just ran into the power lines again."

Spicab huffed. "It certainly picked a great time to do it."

After several hectic minutes, the power came back on, and a very disgruntled dance instructor took the stage again. "It was a lusus," he confirmed. "A lusus got into the fuse box and started ripping out wires."

"What color?" shouted an indigo.

The instructor shrugged. "A midblood of some sort."

"Figures."

"Because of the delay," the dance instructor went on, "and since it is so close to sunrise, tonight's performance is canceled." The crowd gave a collective groan. "Thank you for coming, everyone. The rescheduled recital date will be put on our website by the end of the week. Subscribe to our weekly electronic newsletter! Goodbye."

Spicab just sort of stared straight ahead. "Um, should we leave?" Perkad asked. She resisted the urge to wave her hand in front of Spicab's eyes.

"I have to talk to Aldera first." She stood and made her way down the row of seats. Perkad followed her backstage - actually just a section of the room separated with a curtain - and there was Aldera, sitting on a bench and picking idly at her painted claws.

"I guess you've come to shooshpap me," she sneered.

Spicab hovered over her shoulder for a moment before sitting beside her. "Are you okay?"

"Just disappointed." She turned to Perkad. "What are _you_ looking at?"

"It's just that… you're taking this too seriously," Perkad said. "They're rescheduling the recital, after all. I didn't expect you to get all mopey about it."

"So you did this." Aldera got to her feet. "What the hell! I have shown you nothing but kindness but you won't stop sticking your nose into my lovelife!"

Spicab stood up, too, staring Perkad down. "What? Is this true?"

"Yep." Perkad straightened, like a furbeast trying to look bigger. "I put my lusus in the electric wiring system."

Aldera put her hands to her head in exasperation. "Why the fuck would you? That's so damn slimy, so low, so uncreative! You put me through all that public humiliation just to get in my pants?!"

"It wouldn't be so humiliating if you didn't have such ridiculous standards for yourself," Perkad said. "If you would just act like a normal person for once - if you would just get off your high horse-"

"I am not putting up with this shit!" Aldera shrieked, cobalt tears blurring in with green makeup. She forced her way through the curtain and left Spicab and Perkad alone.

It was very quiet. Spicab gave a long sigh, and when she spoke again, all traces of her quirk had gone. "You used me."

"Don't say it like that," Perkad pleaded. "It… it started out like that," she admitted, "but I really do have feelings for you."

"How could you." Her voice was breaking, but still no quirk. She was trying not to cry and she sucked at it. "Don't look at me!" she shrieked. "Don't you dare pity me, you sick pervert!"

"Spicab…"

"I hope you feel guilty and I hope you choke on dead vermin!" She said this, and left.


	27. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE - PREWRITING PAYS OFF, KIDS

Um


End file.
